The Right Shoulder Chronicles

So…

A subluxation of the right shoulder, and the pretty nice pain I had to go with it, has rendered the blog stationary for the past couple of weeks. I’m still getting a bit of grief from the top of the arm as I type (and when swotting moths) but it is much more tolerable and hence I imagine I’ll be getting on the blog bandwagon soon. I have an appointment on Thursday to map out what needs to be done to the muscle damage I seem to have sustained from a cricket match two weeks ago (doc said I should avoid throwing et al for a couple of months), and I’ll know a bit more from there. At least I can sleep at night.

My best wishes to Adelaide Exile who I understand has suffered a much worse injury than mine which will keep him out of football for a lot lot longer. I know the recovery will be a long one, mate, but all the best.

WindyBricks play Occidental Cured Pork tonight, and in all seriousness, I really can’t be bothered with it. I’m not going, which means I’m not real Windy in their eyes, and after the game in 2003, I really have no desire to be put through the dry run of a police state to watch a meaningless cup match (which it is, in the whole scheme of things). Others are welcome to their excitement and anticipation. I’m not one of them. Since I last corresponded we have beaten Matt Damon’s Gob 4-0 in the PissPoor Lager Cup, had a dull draw against Sandy’s Automobile,  a 2-0 win over Ancient Cured Pork (Fit), and a goal-less draw against The Used Car Salesman from Essex. We remain unbeaten, having conceded just one goal with both our main centre-backs unfit. It isn’t a bad start.

The Red Sox hold a tenuous grip on the wildcard place for the MLB play-offs, but while many look at Texas as the threat, in the back windscreeen are the Rays. They worry me, because we have a lamentable record against them in recent times. The Red Sox are in the middle of a brutal part of their schedule, and still have to play Tampa home and away (I believe), New York (away) and Los Angeles Angels (home) before season’s end. The offense seems to be hitting a little more consistently, but now Beckett has had two poor starts on the bounce and the distress signals are beginning to be seen. That said, the American correspondents aren’t panicking, but that is precisely what I can do.

So, an interesting couple of weeks dealing with my first really tricky sports injury in my 40 years on this earth, and of course, missing some of the Ashes test I had tickets for was tough, but hopefully on the road back to recovery now and blogging will pick up again in the near future.

Not Been The Best Couple Of Days..

England getting humped in the test match, Boston going 24 innings without a run against the Yankees (well at time of writing we are 5-0 down in the 9th with one out – so it is 23 innings at the moment), and only the WindyBricks keeping any semblence of joy with a 1-1 drawn down south. James Black Lace soundalike impressed in the midfield, and I liked the letterless supermarket up front – once he sharpens up he’ll be very dangerous.

Let us hope there are more glad tidings coming up.

It could be worse – I could be an England cricket fan, who loves the Red Sox, and a supporter of the only football club in Norfolk.

UPDATE – Defeat sealed. 24 scoreless innings.

A Non-Alcoholic Bike Ride And Ramble…

I’ve been a bit quiet on here recently, I know. With the Ashes in full flow now I’ve been concentrating the blogging on the cricket and little else, so time to redress the balance and speak about other things.

Nice to see my WindyBricks colleagues wish me a happy birthday. Some of them harbour grudges that warp through time, others make unsubstantiated remarks about me, but let them be. The vast majority of the chaps and chap-esses there are top people, so there’s no need to be resentful or perpetuate the hate any longer. I can’t imagine what drives some of them.

I’ve been following the Tour de France, while sipping from my cafetiere of course, and so far it has been a bit of a phony war as the organisers effectively wasted two mountain stages by giving the cyclists long distances to the finish after them. Hence the iconic Col du Tourmalet climb, where I remember a great stage with LeMond, Delgado and Indurain (on the way to Luz Ardiden) in 1990, is just a footnote in this tour as the main men kept their powder dry for the Alps and the last-but-one day climb up Mont Ventoux. The buzz is, of course, around the Astana team containing the young champion Alberto Contador and the seven time winner Lance Armstrong (who, it will come to the surprise of no-one, I can’t abide). Contador laid down a marker on Andorra Arcalis by jumping from the pack and taking time out of the rest of the top runners, including Armstrong. There then followed a session of media rounds where Armstrong claimed he could have caught him but it wasn’t the right thing to do, and he’s clearly miffed that the “team leader” actually acted like one. Armstrong would surprise me intensely if he works at all for Contador from here on in. He’s got too competitive a streak, he’s too ruthless, he’s too savvy and he’s too egotistical to just come back to ride the tour “for his cancer charity.” Armstrong is there to win, and if Contador’s ambition has to be suppressed, so be it. After all, what better way to hamstring your greatest rival and the man you’ll fear most, by making him, in some way, worry about you in your own team? Contador showed some balls by making his early statement, and I am very much in his camp. He sacrificed defending his crown last year by joining Astana, and his team repays him by bringing in Armstrong to stuff things up. Contador must be seething.

Also in the tour, while Mark Cavendish is getting lots of plaudits for winning three stages, and he clearly is unstoppable in a fair sprint. However, quietly posting the best ride in the overall standings by a Brit since Robert Millar is Bradley Wiggins, who surprised everyone, and possibly himself, by keeping up with the big climbers on the Arcalis. In the coverage on ITV4, the pictures of him thumping the team van with sheer joy and pride at his performance was one of the best things I’ve seen in a while. This bloke, while not unknown, has three Olympic gold medals under his belt, and yet is hardly mentioned at all by anyone. Ask a person in a street to name a British Olympic pursuit champion, and they’ll probably name Chris Boardman. Wiggins has personality, ability and strength. The only conceivable reason he isn’t a megastar here is that we’ve become complacent about gold medals. Here’s hoping Wiggins continues his great form and gets his desired top 20 finish.

Other football, and what, precisely, are Manchester City doing? BBC Sport listed them this morning – Tevez, Robinho, Caicedo, Bellamy, Benjani, Bojinov, Roque Santa Cruz and Evans (yes, Evans) – and now Adebayor is taking a medical. Has someone told this mob you can probably play three of them, maximum, at one time, and knowing his attitude, Bellamy knows he will be one of them! This is ridiculous. Manchester City may have a very entertaining team, but their pursuit of John Terry makes the whole thing even more of a joke. I know it is funny watching Chelsea in the position of disbelieving host to a cash mad predator, but what is this all about. At a time when the economy is diving more emphatically than Greg Louganis, Manchester City are spending like sailors on shore leave. It is utterly classless, but then again, what does anyone expect with the Premier League these days?

It is a cracking weekend of sport, with the Tour de France heating up, the Lord’s test and the Open golf championship. Add to that Boston will be trying to keep their three game lead over the Yankees as they head off on a six game road trip after the All Star Break (and if Boston get to the World Series they’ll have home advantage after the American League won again last night). Lots to watch, see and do.

Hope this message finds my readers well and in positive spirits. Talking of spirits, I have not touched alcohol for 8 days and the intention is to make it to 31 (British Beer Festival). Here’s hoping I do it!

How Did We Lose In Adelaide – Blatant Cross Promotion

Lots going on over at the other place, with updates on world cricket, my views on the KP debacle,  a live blog from part of the 20/20 international yesterday morning, and the first part of my account of the 2006 Ashes disaster in Adelaide…

All can be found on “How Did We Lose In Adelaide“

Today on The Cricket Blog

Further comments on the ECB’s marvellous handling of the Pietersen / Moores schmozzle, and KP’s statement.

http://cricketbydmitri.wordpress.com/2009/01/07/the-pietersen-statement/

Update: 8 January

http://cricketbydmitri.wordpress.com/2009/01/08/the-kp-aftermath/

Early reactions to the aftermath.

A New Home For Cricket Posts

I have decided to set up a dedicated cricket blog to run parallel to this site. The large number of cricket posts I put on here will henceforth be put on to the new site, How Did We Lose In Adelaide – The Dmitri Old Cricket Blog – the name of the site until I can think of a better title (I updated it). The vast majority of non-mate related hits to this blog are, believe it or not, derived from the cricketing posts and I’ve decided to go down this route for now. Of course, I’ll review this in due course if my mates who read this get the hump about it.

I will, also, for the time being, link any new posts on that blog here, to allow people to click on links to read them. The 20 questions quiz, and its progress, will also be found on the new site.

Cheers,

Dmitri

Only in England….

Well, maybe not. Pakistan would do something this daft. Ganguly openly revolted against Greg Chappell. Brian Lara was a quixotic genius as a batsman and a dreadful leader. Maybe not only in England. But at this time, it sure seems that only in England could we choose a captain who we knew had problems with the coach, and are then horrified when he airs them in public when he feels he’s been let down.

And so, it came to pass, that when the faceless ones met via a faceless interface, the faceless ones decided that the one world class batsman their team possesses should be shot down in flames for insubordination against a coach who had their backing. A coach who had taken his team from great depths to scraped victories over the might of the Kiwis should be retained over one of the top 5 batsman in the world.

 

The authorities have spoken. No mutineer, however talented, should be allowed to usurp the coach, even if the fool doesn’t learn the lessons of the past, and allows us to drift imperceptibly down the rankings. People who read my turgid prose know what I think of Moores. Only in England do we appoint a Steve McLaren and moan when we take on one of the world’s proven best coaches in Fabio Capello.

 

Nasser Hussain writes well on his blog on Sky Sports, and does put the case for the coach as well as for Pietersen. I guess in many ways he is correct – that Peter Moores and Kevin Pietersen’s disputes should have been kept under wraps, because that is what he and Duncan Fletcher did in their much underestimated work in laying the foundations for the 2004-5 successes. But Pietersen is an abrasive character who by all the rumours and words I heard around the 2006-7 Ashes series and beyond is fed up with some of the players not delivering while he works his tail off in becoming a great player. KP had to wait for Thorpe’s decline to get in the team, and when he was dropped, Thorpe hardly deserved it, with his grit and determination still there for all to see. Pietersen must look at how Ian Bell keeps his place with a record so lacking the weight of Michael Vaughan’s and say “why is our coach so keen on keeping this guy?” He must see Moores and his cohorts in the selection committee being content to reward mediocrity. After all, Geoff Miller should recognise it – he was as mediocre a test player as you could get.

 

So when push came to shove, the Officer Class decided that the talented infantryman should pay the price for his insubordination pour encourager les autres. Now England find themselves in a pickle. Keen to have a captain from both forms of the game, England are limited to Fredallo Flintoff, James Anderson, Matt Prior or irony of utter ironies, Ian Bell! What a cast list. The obvious choice for test captain is Andrew Strauss, as he should have been in 2006 having taken us to our last decent test series win, but will they go that way?

 

Now comes the sort of frenzy the 24 hour sports media so relish. We can all watch as the he said, she said nonsense pours out. Mihir Bose already has his fingers in the pie, being told that they were both sacked…

 

“Pietersen gave an ultimatum to the ECB saying ’sack the coach or I go’,” BBC sports editor Mihir Bose told 5 Live.

“The ECB has said ‘we value you as captain but we don’t take dictation from you’. So they accepted his ultimatum and he has suffered.”

 

No doubt Jonathan Agnew will be along later to pen some old nonsense in due course. Everyone interested in the game will pen some ill-informed old guff, including me, but I call things as I see them. The bigger picture for England’s success is not the maintenance of some time-server who appears to have done nothing for the international team since he took over as coach, but the continued batting success of England’s best batsman in a lifetime and with a drive unparalleled among the England team to succeed, even it if it may be for his own selfish gain. Some may say he engineered this dispute to take the IPL’s riches, but I actually think he caused these problems to shake up the culture of accepting defeat that England seems to have become. We seemed happy to give India a game in Chennai, when England should have won. If England had taken their chances at Edgbaston, South Africa may well have gone home without the series win they so cherished, and yet, we seem content. Moores goes on all the time about learning lessons; maybe KP thought we needed a better teacher and he wasn’t about to be tutored by some tick-box merchant.

 

Now we risk losing our greatest asset. Yes, greater than Fredalo Flintoff. And if you can’t see that, you are blind. A man averaging over 50, who you gave the captaincy to knowing he would cause ructions if he felt standards were slipping, who you knew to have his own mind, and now you sack him for insubordination. Dear oh dear. I just hope that KP doesn’t just pack in the England team and make his fortune in the IPL, and that England don’t live to regret the day that the faceless ones backed an inferior officer to a talented infantryman. Mutineers are not always incorrect.

Wise Before The Event

Last night, while waiting for tiredness to take over, I listened to a couple of Podcasts from US sports radio. One of the guys, a total tube called Colin Cowherd, encountered only when he set out to demolish a web site so totally harmless as to be untrue by asking his listeners to flood it to crash the server, had a rant piece about the Jets sacking Mangini, and how everyone is “wise after the event”.

Readers will know that here, and in a past life, my bete noire of sports is Ian Bell. As part of my previous incarnation, I made a number of comments throughout on Ian Bell. I would ask those who believe I am now being wise after the Indian events, what was out of place in what I wrote in this – 18 months ago.

The main surprise is that in a spell where he appears to have played dreadfully, his average has hardly changed. A big 199 definitely helped him there, but that was an oasis in the desert of runs when they were desperately needed. Let’s look at his performances in the following games in which England have been beaten….

Hamilton, New Zealand…. 25 in the 1st innings, and absolved from blame with 54 not out in the disastrous second. I can’t have it both ways, but forgive me if I try. That 54 came when the game was lost. We had no chance of salvaging it as the top order capitulated. Bell can’t be blamed, but nor is it the sort of backs to the wall effort that should be admired.

Leeds, South Africa…. 31 in the 1st innings, 4 in the second. Off the back of an imperious 199 at Lord’s, Bell under pressure wilted. England were soundly beaten, but when a rearguard action needed to be put in place on the 4th day, England came up well short. As did Bell.

Edgbaston, South Africa…. 50 in the 1st innings, 20 in the second. Got out when going well in the 1st innings and we needed a big score. Pulled one up in the air in the second when the pressure was on, and KP/Colly gave us half a chance.

Chennai, India….. 17 in the 1st innings, 7 in the second. Failed. Not so much pressure on as the whole story of this game was the 4th innings, but still….

I looked through Ian Bell’s record on cricinfo, to pick out innings of substance in times of trouble. I did some, probably skewed, analysis of his test centuries. People on the Moores/KP thread seem to resonate more frequently on Ian Bell’s position in the team than anything else. I would just like to know what he has to do to be dropped.

I remain wise before the event, and in Colin Cowherd’s lamentable estimation, I am now able to be listened to because I am not wise after the event. Good on me.

I just have a sinking feeling that this won’t be the last time I have to write this piece about the player who deserves an England place about as much as Steve Harmison.

Impressions From Outside…

Looking on, very much from the outside, the current spat between Kevin Pietersen and Peter Moores appears to be a curious one. The BBC are steadfastly reporting nothing on their site, with the last update from Agnew being a pretty scornful diatribe on Michael Vaughan. It seems that content with sticking the knife into the last days of Duncan Fletcher, and his repeated pokes at Vaughan getting a reward, he’s happy to keep that particular avenue going. It is as if all the failures of the past, and there are plenty, want to erase 2005 out of the memory banks. You know, the one occasion when England beat the best team in the world. It happens that often.

Agnew hasn’t been as forthright with Peter Moores. This is a mystery to me as the bloke has been in the job for 18 months and has, by any measure, been a failure. What’s he done other than pick Ryan Sidebottom? Oh wow, while we had a number of players injured, he sorted out a bowler who can do well in English conditions. He ran through New Zealand a couple of times. And it is a good job West Indies and New Zealand were on our schedule, because you still get a modicum of credit for beating them. Losing overseas is a different thing entirely, but Fletcher had England doing better in Sri Lanka than our turgid displays out there last time, and Fletcher got a patched up England to draw a series in India, when Moores did not. But what Fletcher did not do was lose at home. One series defeat, to Australia, in his time in charge. We did not lose to South Africa, we did not lose to India, we did not lose to Pakistan. Fletcher brought in Vaughan, Pietersen, Trescothick, Strauss, Harmison and Simon Jones; who has Moores brought in, and on? Please note that Duncan Fletcher is currently employed in the South African cricket set-up. Who the hell is going to employ Moores?

So KP’s spat with Moores, as fervently recorded in the Daily Mail (I feel like I need to be de-loused) is an interesting one. I am supporting the right man, for the wrong reasons. KP has to win this one because the future of English cricket depends much more on him than it does on the ECB yes-man. If KP wants Michael Vaughan alongside him in the trenches, then he should be listened to. I hope this means that KP’s patience with Ian Bell has ended, because I could imagine sitting on the pavilion balcony one place beneath him is purgatory for our best player. If there’s a crisis in the middle, you’d be ready in a heartbeat when Bell comes in to bat. Bell’s average, if you strip out the 225 runs he scored without being dismissed against Bangladesh, is scraping over 38. That’s not test class in this day and age.

Now people will say, as Agnew frequently does, that Vaughan doesn’t deserve to be in the team because he isn’t scoring runs. Of course, maybe these are the same people who feted him in 2002/3 as the best batsman in the world on the back of his prodigious run-scoring exploits in that period; and to boot those runs were scored with aesthetic charm and at a pretty decent lick. I was blessed to see two of these innings – his 195 at the Oval when he scored 182 runs on the first day of a test match; and his 177 at Adelaide when he was out to the last ball of the day. Not many players, let alone openers, accumulated runs at that speed. When he was accused of being a walking wicket for the Aussies, getting bowled too many times (David Byas, that international phenomenon, said no great player gets bowled a lot), he answered with a quickfire 166 at the Old Trafford test.

Vaughan has proven pedigree, in tight spots, against good opposition. He is only 34, not 44 as some of the cretins in the media are portraying him. In an ideal world I’d like to see him score some runs before coming back into the team, but the tossers like Agnew, who seem to resent him for being a winner, want him pensioned off without a chance. Why? Who would you rather have with your backs to the wall; Ian Bell or Michael Vaughan? A case can be made for Owais Shah, but would you really want him coming in at 3?

The clear implication is that Vaughan and Moores can’t abide each other. Vaughan was very close to Duncan Fletcher and rightly so – as a team they were formidable, winning series where England just did not win, including South Africa and the West Indies. In 2005 we were a great team, but that was the pinnacle. Vaughan had serious injury problems for the best part of 2 years; Flintoff was injured, captain or wastrel depending on his state of mind and body; Harmison went off the rails; Trescothick had his serious problems… that team burnt like a supernova, bursting into life for a short period of time before collapsing in on itself. If the ECB believed that the answer to the 5-0 slaughter in Australia was Peter Moores, you have to wonder… Fletcher wasn’t so much eased out as told to f*ck off, and we had this dour character as the new boss. Vaughan was still THE man, but Moores never seemed to have anything stick to him.

I think, when all is said and done, and Vaughan does print his autobiography that the Pattinson affair will raise its head, and I believe KP wants no repeat of that nonsense. England seem to go into a blind panic at Headingley, and when Sidebottom pulled up lame, they went out and brought Pattinson in. Bloody hell, I felt sorry for him. Vaughan clearly didn’t want him, because he didn’t know him! The guy was on a loser from the start. This selection was a Moores / Miller production and may have hastened Vaughan’s exit from the job. This man clearly lived for the job and saw his efforts sabotaged by a coach / chairman of selectors who veered off message (a parallel can be drawn with Ponting and Hilditch).

You know what I’ve written about Moores. I felt he should never have been appointed, and we should have gone for Tom Moody as he was available and a proven international coach. I think he should be sacked, because England are going backwards with, on paper, a not too dissimilar side to the one that won the Ashes. The top order has been too cosy for a while (and I know, bringing Vaughan back would be more grist to that mill, but it would at least tell one of the top lot that they can’t fail) and Strauss’s solid comeback is evidence that when dropped, and when not guaranteed the income they earn as top players, they do come back with purpose. Atherton was keen to say at any opportunity that Strauss could not have many more bad series, but ignored how many poor series the likes of Collingwood and Bell put together, or the lack of hundreds coming from Cook. Moores has, somehow, replaced competition for places with waiting for a player to succeed. One admires consistency of selection, but when it is wrong, you should change. That goes for a poorly performing coach, and whichever way you look at it, he hasn’t done the business.

This is one battle Kevin Pietersen should see through and win. However, I can only see a messy compromise with the coach staying and the captain always having that crutch of failure to lean on when we lose. I don’t think KP wants that, but he’ll get it. Maybe a defeat in the West Indies is the only way to clear out the clouded thinking in the upper echelons of English cricket.

Sporting Hopes – 2009 – Cricket

England to regain the Ashes and restore some pride to a team that promises quite a bit but just doesn’t seem to deliver. Regrettably I think this could only be done with a new coach, and as the current incumbent doesn’t seem to be under any real pressure, I’m not sure how we are going to do it. The bloke has not taken us to a series win of any real merit since he’s been in charge.

Kevin Pietersen to be a real success in 2009, and score over 700 runs in the Ashes series and nab himself a big double ton along the way. He is the only real hope for that sort of score these days, and yet we burden him with the captaincy.

Alastair Cook to fulfill his promise and make a really big score. I said that never has a batsman gone a year without a test ton and still been an automatic choice, but Cook did that in 2008. He has temperament, he has class, he has ability, now he needs to go through with it. He’s got to show he’s more Strauss than Bell.

England to drop Ian Bell and find someone, anyone, else. Give Robert Key a go. Give Joe Denly a go. Give Owais Shah a go. Give Paul Horton a go. Give Scott Newman a go. Give Darren Maddy a go for chrissake. Anyone but this perennial failure and bottle job. Someone came out the other day that he’s learning the lessons of a young batsman. He’s played 45 f*cking test matches and he’s still in need of learning? No, we pick him for the West Indies….

A year of full fitness and pace for Simon Jones, and a fairytale return to the international scene. The unsung hero of 2005, the prospect the Aussies faced of having seen off the probing swing of Hoggard and the fire of Harmison only to have to cope with Flintoff and Jones made us a feared team. We now bring on the likes of James Anderson or Stuart Broad and they just don’t have it for me. Jones back in the England team is a pipe dream, but I am hoping.

Flintoff to recover some form with the bat and take at least one six wicket test haul. There were signs with the bat in India, and importantly Australia won’t be bringing a class spinner with them as Freddie definitely struggles starting up with them. In the bowling department, I want less “bowling like a Trojan” and more “ran through the top order”. I still say he isn’t a test number 6.

Surrey to go straight back up, although I doubt it. For a while now they’ve coasted along and not been able to hire the bowling forces to take 20 wickets on a consistent basis. Now they are back down in the division they destroyed three seasons ago but with a much weaker team. The pursuit of Harbajhan Singh may be great for the second half of the season, when most county cricket is going to be played, but it is imperative the Surrey team get off to a quick start. Kent are obvious favourites for Division 2, and Essex are going to be tough as well. I couldn’t care less about limited over shin-digs.

On the international front, India to get their wings clipped, which is unlikely in New Zealand in our spring, but hoepfully they’ll not win the World 20/20, although they have to be the strongest of favourites. India are due to host Sri Lanka in the Autumn, which should pose a decent test for them. However, they have warmed to England a bit after the players went back for the two test series and provided a fantastic match at Chennai (which although we lost, and I had the hump about it, you have to say was a great game and an advert for test cricket) which got the right result for the host country. I just abhor the IPL and all it stands for….

Australia to continue their regression back to the pack and the blood letting that will inevitably ensue. Already whispers and murmurs are being raised about Ponting’s captaincy – nothing he wasn’t doing when England were duffing them up in 2005 – and of the dearth of bowling supplies coming through. I still believe they could pick any six out of 10 batsmen – and I’m leaving Hayden out as they should be – and still put a team out that can score enough runs to put teams under pressure. Perm any six out of Jaques, Rogers, Katich, Ponting, M. Hussey, D. Hussey, M. Clarke, Voges, D. Thornely and Hodge. They also speak highly of some guy called Hughes at NSW. Their batting will be formidable, their bowling needs sharpening up.

Steve Harmison to actually care would be nice.

But most importantly, and selfishly, a lovely summer so that I can enjoy cricket and go to see games at grounds such as Guildford, Whitgift and Tunbridge Wells, and maybe a day trip to an outground in the country somewhere…

Dear Oh Dear

England have picked their squad for the West Indies.

Now, I for one wasn’t particularly clamouring for the return of Michael Vaughan, so the headline of the story isn’t the be all and end all for me. What particularly “amused”  me is this justification for not picking Vaughan…

“There’s got to be justification of why people are included in the side and since Michael’s problems last year when he gave up the captaincy there’s not been an awful lot of runs.”

Ian Bell has not had the burden of captaincy, yet has a lovely Caribbean jaunt to look forward to prepare him for the position of dragging us down when the pressure is on during the Ashes. If we are looking at runs from him, well… that’s just an optional extra for him, it seems.

As for more muddled thinking, why are we taking three spinners to the Caribbean?

Geoff Miller and Peter Moores ruling the roost. Inspiration indeed.

And Now…The End Is Near…..

Hubris.

While watching the last rites of the Dolphins v Jets game, I happened to switch over to Sky Sports 1 during an advert break to catch some of the action from the MCG. As I turned over Lord Haw Haw himself, Mark Nicholas, was in his usual hyperbolic frenzy over his adopted nation’s players; this time it was Matthew Hayden who on the basis of clumping a couple of boundaries was showing the positive spirit needed to get him out of this horrible slump he is in. The next ball he promptly blapped it straight to cover and Duminy pouched it. Mark Nicholas, showing what a cricketing whore he’s become, exclaims “OH NO!!!!!”. Any English cricket follower worth his salt wants seven shades of hell for that flat track bully, but not Haw Haw. Vic Marks describes my feelings on Hayden a lot more eloquently like than what I can… see here.

Australia are going down as quickly as Hayden’s batting average, if not as quickly as Michael Hussey’s (the 80+ average is now down below 60) and the fact is that they are powerless to do much about it. In this test they had South Africa in a noose, had the foot on the throat, and then allowed them a stay of execution with a bloke playing his second test getting a masterly 166, and Dale Steyn scoring 76 to take 192/7 to 450 odd all out. The best thing about it is that Australia, living in denial as they are,  just weren’t ready for it.

I know, I know. I said I doubted South Africa’s mental strength. The run chase in Perth exorcised a lot of demons, and coming back from this seemingly hopeless position to stand on the brink of immortality seems to prove me wrong. Maybe, when all is said and done, I’ve over-estimated Australia’s mental strength. A previous regime would have booted out Hayden long ago. What did Phil Jaques do wrong? His last test knock was 108 and he hasn’t played since! Hayden has just two half centuries since Australia Day. Then there is the enigma that is Andrew Symonds, who KP once called a great fielding allrounder. To watch the Brummie born West Indian in the field recently is to give me reminiscences of me lumbering around the outfield in my “pomp”. He’s got a bad knee, I had a big belly. The results are broadly comparable except he can catch and can throw. I’m talking nonsense. He should not be playing, is the upshot, and previous Aussie regimes would have had him fully fit before taking the field. He can’t bowl medium pace with his injury, and his batting is hit and miss at best.

The bowling was always going to be the chief problem, because you don’t replace McGrath and Drug Cheat easily. That their replacements are Siddle and Hauritz is a bit like Laurel and Hardy being replaced by the Chuckle Brothers. Brett Lee is now also complaining of injury and the side is unravelling before our eyes. To snatch a losing position from the close of play at Day 2 takes some doing. Siddle bowled well, but he’s no McGrath. Stuart Clark is missing too, and Australia must contemplate returning to the realms of the ordinary. Meanwhile South Africa’s worst fast bowler, Ntini, would walk into their team, and their first reserve, Nel, would probably get in too. Dale Steyn is living up to the promise he has threatened for a while now, and South Africa’s batting looks formidable. England go there next winter, and it’ll be interesting to see how we do.

Back to Australia, though, and one moment summed it up for me. Morne Morkel bowled a snorting bouncer to Michael Hussey which pinged him on the helmet, flew up in the air, and was caught at square leg. It never looked out, but Aleem Dar gave it. That moment Australia’s chickens came home to roost. The persistent dissent showed by drug cheat when outrageous appeals were turned down; the appealing by honest Joe Big Ears, the keeper with the game at heart, when he knew it wasn’t out; the bile emanating from Benny the Bull, the Transvestite Botherer when a 12th man run him out; the spirit of the game safe in the hands of the country that brought you the Chappells. At that moment, a horrible mistake went against them with their backs up against the wall and no McGrath or Drug Cheat to bale them out. Transvestite Botherer’s face was a picture. Aussie commentators, according to Adelaide Exile, moaned about the lack of referrals. Hussey’s luck was coming to an end, so was Australia’s. And they don’t really like it much…

The next couple of years are going to be very interesting.

The Cricket Yes/ No Game…

I now have seven entries into the competition. We have just two questions on which there is unanimity, and plenty of suckers people who believe England will regain the Ashes…

Get your answers in – see the post below…..

Last Day In The Office….

And a couple of observations for those mad enough to still be with me…

I’m all for this global warming lark. We’ve had a couple of crap summers, so some nice hot weather would do very nicely. Good to see the USA is having a very mild winter as evidenced by this.

And the Bears had to overcome the elements, too, as did the Packers.

The temperature at Soldier Field was announced at 2 degrees, making it the coldest home game in Bears’ history since records started being kept in 1963. The wind chill was 13 below, the second-lowest in recorded team annals, so the longtime rivals known for their ability to play in cold weather were tested by the elements.

You’d think a planet warming like it is wouldn’t be setting record low temperatures. Oh well. I suppose this year is a one-off. No record cold weather last year…

The projected high of 6 degrees for Green Bay, Wis., earlier in the week would feel almost balmy.

At 3:30 p.m. — 2:30 at Lambeau Field — the temperature was 0 degrees, with wind gusts of 12 miles an hour making it feel like it’s 17 below.

Meantime, the Patriots and Chargers began their game in Foxborough, Mass., in windy conditions with a temperature of 23 degrees, the lowest of the three AFC championship games played in Foxborough.

The previous low there for a title game was 27 degrees on Jan. 12, 1997 when New England beat Jacksonville 20-6 to advance to the Super Bowl where it lost to Green Bay 35-21 in New Orleans.

The lowest temperature for any Patriots game at Foxborough was 4 degrees in a 17-14 win over Tennessee on Jan. 10, 2004 in the first round of the playoffs.

Hurry up with this warm weather…mild winters….

Caught the overtime of the Chicago Bears v Green Bay game last night, and apart from looking utterly bone chilling, the Bears appeared to have all the luck in keeping their faint play-off hope alive (I think the Vikings will beat the Giants on Sunday as the reigning champs have less than zero to play for). According to the Mrs Dmitri, last night’s result eliminated the Philadelphia Eagles – and I know that she is utterly devastated about that…

Good to see Ian Bell stating his case to stay at number 3 in the batting line-up. What a fighting knock to make sure we get a draw. Also hilarious to see Yuvraj Singh taking the p*ss out of KP this morning. First he acted as if he got injured picking up the ball, then mimicked a pie-thrower. Nice one Yuvraj… When you get your test batting average up 15 clicks, then maybe you can talk to KP about your play as equals. As KP said “you are not a god, you are just a cricketer. And I’m a better one.” That said, I like the needle, and I must say, Yuvraj did bring a chuckle this morning. Better characters than automatons, and both Yuvraj and KP (although he takes himself far too seriously) are definitely not robots.

Posting may be sparse in the next few days, but those of my readers, old and on the off-chance new, should put their entries into the cricket game below. Come on, give it a go… even my american friends, who can guess and will probably do better than us who think we know!!!

If I don’t post, Merry Christmas. If I do post Season’s Greetings!

Call Me Cantankerous If You Like…

But the need for sports journalist to fill up their pages with any old detritus is just going too far. If it isn’t my old mate Geoff Shreve asking stupid question after stupid question “would it be fair to say that that was a battling performance, Arsene?” or “Did your team show character today, Arsene” – I mean, is he going to say “no, the lazy pr*cks couldn’t battle if their lives depended on it” or “no, they are a bunch of gutless, overpaid ponces” – of course he isn’t. It’s the interviewing equivalent of Tiger Woods playing Beckenham Place Park and me spotting him 10 shots. Ask questions like “would you agree with me that it’s a bit rich for Adebayor to be moaning about someone rolling over at the drop of an hat, when Gael Clichy went down like he was shot after a challenge by Keane and showed no ill effects thereafter?” and see where it woulf get you. It would get me watching. Or ask Robbie Keane “Be frank, you’ve been a waste of money haven’t you, and the manager ain’t got a scooby what to do with you?”

If you do that and question these congenital liars’ integrity,  like Crimson Snide and Harry The Crook, you ignore the BBC and get your lackey to go to the trouble of answering further soft toss questions.

I digress, not for the first time. My rant commences with this article on cricinfo. What could possibly bother me about this?

Answer – What precisely did you think Brad Haddin was going to say about Brett Lee. “Let’s face it, he’s bowling a load of old crap and doesn’t deserve to be in the team. To think I had to wait for old big ears to get out of the way and as soon as he does, my quick bowler becomes a pie chucker?” But this is the lead headline for an article so dull I was tempted to ask cricinfo for the 2 minutes it took to read it to be given back to me by way of a compensatory payment.

Of course, I’m picking on one Aussie example, but there’s plenty. Let’s look at Sky Sports headlines today.

The main headline is Robbie Keane hitting out at the critics. Great. You get one goal against Arsenal and you mouth off. Great – I hope this is a real lambasting for those having a go. Break out of the media dross Robbie (you have scored naff all FL points for me…)

“I am not frustrated at all (by the speculation),” said Keane.

 

“I suppose the only thing that I sometimes get frustrated by is when people outside the football club are talking about things to do with me, because they are trying to create something that is not there.

“I have already said that I know I will score goals for this club and I would prefer to be judged at the end of this season, not in December.”

Hmmm. If that’s hitting out, it is from the fluffy bunny school of hitting out. Jesus. Hype it up Sky.

Next story up for me is one of those that fall into the Brad Haddin category. Someone backing someone else…

“Skipper Backing For Scolari”

Oh dear lordy. He’s hardly going to say “fire the useless ponce, and can I have Jose back, please.

“The manager has been a great signing for the club, he has been different class,” Terry told the Evening Standard.

“He is a great man as well and gets on well with everyone away from the training pitch.

“He is like one of our friends, but on the training pitch he has the complete respect of the whole squad.

“Scolari has encouraged us to play a lot more football and get the full-backs to join in and have an effect going forward. He has in mind to keep clean sheets as well as score goals and we have been doing both.”

My brain hurts.

Then we have the next type of dismal rubbish. Someone talking about an upcoming fixture, which is just so predictable its untrue…

O’Neill Wary Of Gunners

No, I’d fully expect Martin O’Neill to come out and say, we’ll thrash the f*ckers and ain’t it great that Cesc Fabregas is crocked as well!!!! Don’t get me wrong, I love Martin O’Neill as a manager, and it is hardly his fault this rubbish is printed, but this is sports news equivalent of listening to the talking clock..

O’Neill commented: “I think they played exceptionally well against Liverpool once they went down to 10 men.

“To keep the ball in the fashion they did and carve out the chances they did, I think that speaks volumes for a side that still has designs on winning the championship.

“They have been a class side for a number of years and it is up to us to do our utmost to try and win this game.”

Why is this given house room?

Sports journalism – I know they have to fill up pages, but do me a favour. Give us something interesting. Stop pros backing fellow pros knowing full well when it comes to their autobiography they’ll be slagging each other off. Stop managers from spouting off insipid nonsense pre-game, and bile after if it hasn’t gone their way. And please, please, please, know the difference between news, and opinion.

Rant over. Merry Christmas.

2009 – Your Guesses – Yes / No – Part 1 – CRICKET

Easy game this….

20 statements – you answer yes/no to each of them. End of next year, we’ll see who gets the most right….

1. West Indies to regain the Wisden Trophy against England?

2. South Africa to beat Australia in the series in South Africa?

3. An England batsman to make a double century in tests in 2009?

4. Freddie Flintoff to score a test century?

5. Surrey to be promoted from Division 2 of the County Championship?

6. Ricky Ponting to be Australian captain at the 2009 Boxing Day test?

7. England to regain the Ashes?

8. Steve Harmison to be playing in the first Ashes test match?

9. A county batsman scoring 300+ in a championship fixture?

10. A batsman to make a century on 20/20 Finals Day?

11. An Indian to make the highest individual score in the World 20/20 competition?

12. An Englishman to make more than 130 in a ODI innings in 2009?

13. Michael Vaughan to make a test appearance in 2009?

14. An England bowler to take a hat-trick in any form of international cricket?

15. Mitchell Johnson to be Australia’s leading wicket-taker in the Ashes series?

16. A wicket-keeper to score a ton in the Ashes?

17. England to introduce no more than three debutants in test cricket in 2009?

18. England’s leading run-scorer in the Ashes series being born outside of England?

19. Jacques Kallis to score his first test 200 in 2009?

20. Matthew Hayden to make an Ashes century?

Cut and paste the questions and stick them in the comments with your yes and no.

In the event of a tie-breaker – put down the score of Australia’s 1st innings at Cardiff in the Ashes opener. Yes. Random as hell….

The Sporting News, The Dmitri Views..

WindyBricks had a goalless draw against the mob from the palace of darting dreams, and it was, quite frankly, garbage. So we’ll go on about it no more…

Australia v South Africa. Well, well, well. Let me eat humble pie about being mentally tough. Let me also laugh at Australia who for years mocked us for having Ashley Giles. He’d walk into their team as the spinner now. Mitchell Johnson may have claimed 8 wickets in the 1st innings, but he isn’t going to carry you, and what the hell is up with Brett Lee? South Africa knocked the runs off pretty comfortably. Ian Chappell, who is a great authority on the game (just ask him) would probably like this article back…. It is also nice to see Ponting have the hump at the end of a game when his team should have won, but had their lunch handed to them by that nice man Graeme Smith, and the professional Jonty Rhodes impressionist AB De Villiers. That attack of Australia’s looks scary… and according to my Adelaide sources the return of Shaun “Mental Case” Tait is a mile off. No shortage of batting, but will they be able to take 20 wickets on a flat deck?

India and England are going through the motions in Mohali. After an insipid first day, England woke up about 26 hours too late, but by then the Indian fox had escaped the hen coop. All my preconceptions were healthily backed up (bar one or two I suppose) in the next 48 hours. Panesar looked unthreatening, Swann isn’t running through anybody, I’d like my Trojans to do more than clean up the occasional tail ender, and Anderson and Broad need help from the pitch to help England. With the bat, need I say more. Cook got to 50 and got out. Collingwood doesn’t do chasing bg leads, Flintoff bat padded again but at least this time he had some runs, and well, Ian Bell. Need I say any more. And what are we doing sending out a night-watchman for Prior? Eh?

In among all that was the giant that was Kevin Pietersen. A tremendous knock of 144 from our greatest batsman since… well in my lifetime. He is just the real deal, and he visibly intimidates very good bowlers. He’ll need to score 700 runs if we are to regain the Ashes because Strauss apart, this other bunch of numpties aren’t going to add anything to the scores. Sure, we’ll get a ton on a dead track from Collingwood to keep his place; Cook will add some 50s and 60s when we need them least; Flintoff will “bowl like a Trojan” and end up with 3 for 80, and Steve Harmison will be playing for Durham.

On to other things, and the Miracle of Miami is still on the cards. Just one win, and the Phins will reach the play-offs and in all likelihood knock the Patriots out. Miami won a ding-dong game with the Chiefs in freezing Kansas City last night and stand an unlikely win in Giants Stadium away from a first round elimination at home to the Ravens. The Jets, since they had that glorious spell of beating the Pats and the Titans on the road, have flat out choked. Miami have really surprised just about everybody by getting rid of their best player (Taylor), their talisman (Thomas) and virtually all their coaching staff, and in one year have gone from 1-15 laughing stocks to 10-5 contenders. They should be very proud.

I was told their were some premier league fixtures this weekend, and someone got sent off, while a team with a lot of money are now in the relegation zone. Someone also told me that Manchester United are world champions. Funny, I thought that was Italy.

Final thought. Who will finally be responsible for Evander Holyfield dying in the boxing ring. He was shot 8 years ago, yet someone keeps giving him chances to win a World Title when he should be getting medical treatment. When he gets very badly hurt will it just be too easy to blame The Real Deal for squandering his cash, or for the unscrupulous promoters who earn big bucks on the back of his stupidity. This weekend he fought a tree and lost on points. He believed he won. He’ll carry on because he wasn’t humiliated. I think it is just an absolute tragedy waiting to happen. You were a warrior in the ring. You will pay for taking it to the bank too often.

A final, final thought. Hatton is fighting Pacquaio? Oh dear.

India 179/1 at End of Play

Lose Toss – Check

Keep Same Batting Line-Up – Check

Oh No, Steve’s Got The Hump – Check

Stuart Broad flatters to deceive – Check

Can’t take wickets on a flat deck – Check

Oh lookie, Ian Bell is playing – Check

Allow monstrously out of form player a 50 – Check

Let unheralded left handed opener score a ton – Check

Freddie Flintoff fails to turn game – Check

Keep woefully out of form spin bowler in team – Check

Woefully out of form spin bowler takes no wickets – Check

Turn over TV to see Aussies wriggle off the hook again – Check

Plus ca f*cking change

A Few Random Thoughts

Yesterday was a bloody hectic day. One of those where the phrase goes “work hard, play hard”. Anyway, enough of that self-indulgent hogwash and onto some more musings…

Australia and South Africa are doing battle in the 1st Test at Perth. Despite my occasional poster Adelaide’s Exile somewhat wistful hopes of a South African win, I just don’t think they are mentally tough enough to beat this mob. I must confess when I could not sleep on Tuesday night, and woke up to find the left ear was playing up again, I put the Test on and saw Australia were 16-3, I thought maybe I was underestimating the Proteas. However from that parlous state, Australia got up to 375 and having taken a bucketload of wickets towards the end of play, South Africa face a large deficit and a lot of time left. This game is the Aussies to lose from here. Same old South Africa in Australia.

England start tomorrow morning in the 2nd Test in Mohali, where just a couple of months ago the hosts trounced Australia. I have little hope for our fortunes at a venue we lost at on our last visit, and expect to see us trounced, if truth be told. As for the team, I hear whispers we might drop Ian Bell. We’ll see. I also read that the area is prone to fog and bad light, and early finishes, so the days could be 70 over affairs if the over rates seen at Chennai are repeated. I know this test was moved because of the Mumbai situation, but couldn’t they have shown some savvy?

Other than that work has dominated the outlook along with arrangements to bring the beloved over for Christmas. I wound down with a drink or two last night and can highly recommend Cruzcampo for taste, if not for a session beer. But as life changes are imminent, I won’t be needing to heed my own advice on session beer for very much longer.

Laters, all.

So. What Lessons Are We Going To Learn From This Debacle

I have to admit, the Peter Moores era is beginning to really grate on me. Every time this decent team, and England are a decent team, come up against someone any good we come up short in the most ridiculous of ways. After the witch hunt that got rid of Duncan Fletcher after the 2007 World Cup, we put the Lord’s Yes Man in charge. Since then we’ve lost at home to both India and South Africa, were flattered by a 2-0 win at home to New Zealand when we really should have lost the 2^nd Test, and then on the road we were also lucky to escape Sri Lanka losing by just one test, and winning in New Zealand after as abject a test display as I’ve ever seen at Hamilton.

 

This team is inexorably sliding backwards. The little boost it got when Kevin Pietersen took charge has come to an end, and now we see England cough up a test we should have won. Why did we allow the Indians to score 386 to win a test on a pitch where we made run scoring attritional and dilatory? How can we pick five bowlers and have our captain lose total faith in three of them? How can 386 seem like a routine task on a wearing fifth day pitch taking spin?

 

Sure, many will point to the genius of Sachin Tendulkar, who played a masterful knock of 103 not out. Many will point to the innings of Virender Sehwag who gave India a chance by belting a rapid 83 and setting India up to chase without having to push it today. By pushing it they may have got into trouble, but they were able to win scoring a 2.5 per over if they so needed. Last night was the time we turned a draw at worst into a potential loss. England, in that situation, would have been 60 for 2 or 3 and struggling to draw.

 

Let’s start with the batting. Yes. Lets. Well played Andrew Strauss. You had a game plan and scored two tons. Without you this would have been a trouncing. I still get the raging hump at the fact that you have only passed 150 once in your career, and that was against a toytown attack in Napier, but I can’t gripe at someone who did what the opener should do and score centuries.

 

Alastair Cook. 50s, 60s, 70s do not win matches. Your lack of centuries in the past 12 months does not lie, you are vulnerable to silly-shot syndrome, you are vulnerable to nick off, and for some reason, you haven’t yet passed 124 in your burgeoning career. You have a number of lessons to learn. Learn them, please.

 

Ian Bell. I don’t know why I f*cking bother. Really I don’t. What photographs does he have of Peter Moores? It is the only logical reason I can still see for him remaining.

 

Kevin Pietersen. I’m watching. Our greatest batting asset, and in his first test abroad he gets two single figure scores in the same game for the first time. He’s also the captain who let India get the highest 4^th innings winning score in the subcontinent and only took 4 wickets in so doing. Also, he got out to Yuvraj Singh for christsake. What the hell is all that about?

 

Paul Collingwood. Well done on a good century played at the start with decent purpose. I can understand why your teammates want you in the team. Haven’t you done well since they dropped you for one test and shook the cosy edifice of the “top five” up? But, please note England, that Collingwood’s tons do seem to rarely aid an England victory. His last backs-to-the wall effort ended in defeat at Edgbaston, his only double-ton came in a defeat, suggesting he only scores well on pitches better players can cash in on more. Maybe a coincidence.

 

Andrew Flintoff. KP wanted him at six. There’s where our tail starts. Prior, on all current form, should be batting above him. No test tons since 2005. He looks as competent as Frank Crawford at the start of his innings. His mythical powers, for that is what they are, seem to excite the crowd / commentators, but don’t seem to win us many games any more.

 

Matt Prior batted well. I don’t think many of us question that aspect of his game. He didn’t seem to let us down with the gloves, so he keeps his powder dry for now.

 

And now to the bowling.

 

Graeme Swann. Hello Monty, here’s your replacement. He bowled OK, but if he’s the best English spinner we are truly knackered. This test match his batting did not come out as we hoped – Australia had a better batsman than him as a spinner, Cameron  White, and he fared equally badly – but he bowled OK, if not all that threatening.

 

Jimmy Anderson – Although he came on a bit during the summer, I can’t help feeling he should not be playing if everyone else is fit. Frankly, if he’s fit and bowling, I don’t know why someone who played a part in making England the team they were in 2005 isn’t in the reckoning. No, not Simon Jones who would be in my team without a shadow of a doubt but is just too rickety, but Matthew Hoggard. One bad game and he’s chucked away.

 

Steve Harmison – See my posts in a former life. Plus ca f*cking change.

 

Monty Panesar – My sides are splitting. Look, I like the guy, he’s a decent bowler, but the hype he generated when he first started is out of all proportion to the performances he puts up. I’m not expecting him to be Shane Warne for crying out loud, but nor should he remind me of Ashley Giles. As Agnew said, and I don’t agree with him very often, he can’t bat and he can’t field, so if he’s bowling like this, what use is he? I had Adil Rashid in my fantasy cricket team, and for most of the season he wasn’t getting county batsmen out, so I don’t fancy his chances, but he does score some runs. Panesar is a victim of the hype – he isn’t as bad now as the know-it-alls say he is, just as he wasn’t as good as he was being touted a few years back. People sniffed at Duncan Fletcher for picking Giles in Brisbane and Adelaide, and in hindsight he was wrong, but I know why he did it. How can you justify selecting him when on a wearing pitch he took no second innings wickets? That’s his job. Quite frankly, and he’s not alone I know, his appealing can be embarrassing.

 

Andrew Flintoff – He’s a Trojan, he’s superhuman, he’s a matchwinner, he’s our best bowler. Maybe he’s the latter, but there is a reason he has two five wicket hauls in tests, and his average is 32.13 with the ball (that’s one notch higher than his batting average, which if anything bashes you on the head, knocks you senseless and brings you round to him not being a test number 6, then your name is Peter Moores or Kevin Pietersen). He actually doesn’t win lots of matches with the ball. Go on, name one. He can turn the tide of the game, but rarely applies the coup de grace, even on bad wickets. Andrew Caddick, remember him, won matches. Sure, he’d go for plenty on plenty of occasions, but he won games with six or seven wicket hauls. Matthew Hoggard did too, Hell Harmison did it for a while. Freddie doesn’t, and will the media stop perpetuating this myth.

 

Enough. The journey endeth this rant.