Call Me Cantankerous If You Like…

But the need for sports journalist to fill up their pages with any old detritus is just going too far. If it isn’t my old mate Geoff Shreve asking stupid question after stupid question “would it be fair to say that that was a battling performance, Arsene?” or “Did your team show character today, Arsene” – I mean, is he going to say “no, the lazy pr*cks couldn’t battle if their lives depended on it” or “no, they are a bunch of gutless, overpaid ponces” – of course he isn’t. It’s the interviewing equivalent of Tiger Woods playing Beckenham Place Park and me spotting him 10 shots. Ask questions like “would you agree with me that it’s a bit rich for Adebayor to be moaning about someone rolling over at the drop of an hat, when Gael Clichy went down like he was shot after a challenge by Keane and showed no ill effects thereafter?” and see where it woulf get you. It would get me watching. Or ask Robbie Keane “Be frank, you’ve been a waste of money haven’t you, and the manager ain’t got a scooby what to do with you?”

If you do that and question these congenital liars’ integrity,  like Crimson Snide and Harry The Crook, you ignore the BBC and get your lackey to go to the trouble of answering further soft toss questions.

I digress, not for the first time. My rant commences with this article on cricinfo. What could possibly bother me about this?

Answer – What precisely did you think Brad Haddin was going to say about Brett Lee. “Let’s face it, he’s bowling a load of old crap and doesn’t deserve to be in the team. To think I had to wait for old big ears to get out of the way and as soon as he does, my quick bowler becomes a pie chucker?” But this is the lead headline for an article so dull I was tempted to ask cricinfo for the 2 minutes it took to read it to be given back to me by way of a compensatory payment.

Of course, I’m picking on one Aussie example, but there’s plenty. Let’s look at Sky Sports headlines today.

The main headline is Robbie Keane hitting out at the critics. Great. You get one goal against Arsenal and you mouth off. Great – I hope this is a real lambasting for those having a go. Break out of the media dross Robbie (you have scored naff all FL points for me…)

“I am not frustrated at all (by the speculation),” said Keane.

 

“I suppose the only thing that I sometimes get frustrated by is when people outside the football club are talking about things to do with me, because they are trying to create something that is not there.

“I have already said that I know I will score goals for this club and I would prefer to be judged at the end of this season, not in December.”

Hmmm. If that’s hitting out, it is from the fluffy bunny school of hitting out. Jesus. Hype it up Sky.

Next story up for me is one of those that fall into the Brad Haddin category. Someone backing someone else…

“Skipper Backing For Scolari”

Oh dear lordy. He’s hardly going to say “fire the useless ponce, and can I have Jose back, please.

“The manager has been a great signing for the club, he has been different class,” Terry told the Evening Standard.

“He is a great man as well and gets on well with everyone away from the training pitch.

“He is like one of our friends, but on the training pitch he has the complete respect of the whole squad.

“Scolari has encouraged us to play a lot more football and get the full-backs to join in and have an effect going forward. He has in mind to keep clean sheets as well as score goals and we have been doing both.”

My brain hurts.

Then we have the next type of dismal rubbish. Someone talking about an upcoming fixture, which is just so predictable its untrue…

O’Neill Wary Of Gunners

No, I’d fully expect Martin O’Neill to come out and say, we’ll thrash the f*ckers and ain’t it great that Cesc Fabregas is crocked as well!!!! Don’t get me wrong, I love Martin O’Neill as a manager, and it is hardly his fault this rubbish is printed, but this is sports news equivalent of listening to the talking clock..

O’Neill commented: “I think they played exceptionally well against Liverpool once they went down to 10 men.

“To keep the ball in the fashion they did and carve out the chances they did, I think that speaks volumes for a side that still has designs on winning the championship.

“They have been a class side for a number of years and it is up to us to do our utmost to try and win this game.”

Why is this given house room?

Sports journalism – I know they have to fill up pages, but do me a favour. Give us something interesting. Stop pros backing fellow pros knowing full well when it comes to their autobiography they’ll be slagging each other off. Stop managers from spouting off insipid nonsense pre-game, and bile after if it hasn’t gone their way. And please, please, please, know the difference between news, and opinion.

Rant over. Merry Christmas.

2009 – Your Guesses – Yes / No – Part 1 – CRICKET

Easy game this….

20 statements – you answer yes/no to each of them. End of next year, we’ll see who gets the most right….

1. West Indies to regain the Wisden Trophy against England?

2. South Africa to beat Australia in the series in South Africa?

3. An England batsman to make a double century in tests in 2009?

4. Freddie Flintoff to score a test century?

5. Surrey to be promoted from Division 2 of the County Championship?

6. Ricky Ponting to be Australian captain at the 2009 Boxing Day test?

7. England to regain the Ashes?

8. Steve Harmison to be playing in the first Ashes test match?

9. A county batsman scoring 300+ in a championship fixture?

10. A batsman to make a century on 20/20 Finals Day?

11. An Indian to make the highest individual score in the World 20/20 competition?

12. An Englishman to make more than 130 in a ODI innings in 2009?

13. Michael Vaughan to make a test appearance in 2009?

14. An England bowler to take a hat-trick in any form of international cricket?

15. Mitchell Johnson to be Australia’s leading wicket-taker in the Ashes series?

16. A wicket-keeper to score a ton in the Ashes?

17. England to introduce no more than three debutants in test cricket in 2009?

18. England’s leading run-scorer in the Ashes series being born outside of England?

19. Jacques Kallis to score his first test 200 in 2009?

20. Matthew Hayden to make an Ashes century?

Cut and paste the questions and stick them in the comments with your yes and no.

In the event of a tie-breaker – put down the score of Australia’s 1st innings at Cardiff in the Ashes opener. Yes. Random as hell….

The Sporting News, The Dmitri Views..

WindyBricks had a goalless draw against the mob from the palace of darting dreams, and it was, quite frankly, garbage. So we’ll go on about it no more…

Australia v South Africa. Well, well, well. Let me eat humble pie about being mentally tough. Let me also laugh at Australia who for years mocked us for having Ashley Giles. He’d walk into their team as the spinner now. Mitchell Johnson may have claimed 8 wickets in the 1st innings, but he isn’t going to carry you, and what the hell is up with Brett Lee? South Africa knocked the runs off pretty comfortably. Ian Chappell, who is a great authority on the game (just ask him) would probably like this article back…. It is also nice to see Ponting have the hump at the end of a game when his team should have won, but had their lunch handed to them by that nice man Graeme Smith, and the professional Jonty Rhodes impressionist AB De Villiers. That attack of Australia’s looks scary… and according to my Adelaide sources the return of Shaun “Mental Case” Tait is a mile off. No shortage of batting, but will they be able to take 20 wickets on a flat deck?

India and England are going through the motions in Mohali. After an insipid first day, England woke up about 26 hours too late, but by then the Indian fox had escaped the hen coop. All my preconceptions were healthily backed up (bar one or two I suppose) in the next 48 hours. Panesar looked unthreatening, Swann isn’t running through anybody, I’d like my Trojans to do more than clean up the occasional tail ender, and Anderson and Broad need help from the pitch to help England. With the bat, need I say more. Cook got to 50 and got out. Collingwood doesn’t do chasing bg leads, Flintoff bat padded again but at least this time he had some runs, and well, Ian Bell. Need I say any more. And what are we doing sending out a night-watchman for Prior? Eh?

In among all that was the giant that was Kevin Pietersen. A tremendous knock of 144 from our greatest batsman since… well in my lifetime. He is just the real deal, and he visibly intimidates very good bowlers. He’ll need to score 700 runs if we are to regain the Ashes because Strauss apart, this other bunch of numpties aren’t going to add anything to the scores. Sure, we’ll get a ton on a dead track from Collingwood to keep his place; Cook will add some 50s and 60s when we need them least; Flintoff will “bowl like a Trojan” and end up with 3 for 80, and Steve Harmison will be playing for Durham.

On to other things, and the Miracle of Miami is still on the cards. Just one win, and the Phins will reach the play-offs and in all likelihood knock the Patriots out. Miami won a ding-dong game with the Chiefs in freezing Kansas City last night and stand an unlikely win in Giants Stadium away from a first round elimination at home to the Ravens. The Jets, since they had that glorious spell of beating the Pats and the Titans on the road, have flat out choked. Miami have really surprised just about everybody by getting rid of their best player (Taylor), their talisman (Thomas) and virtually all their coaching staff, and in one year have gone from 1-15 laughing stocks to 10-5 contenders. They should be very proud.

I was told their were some premier league fixtures this weekend, and someone got sent off, while a team with a lot of money are now in the relegation zone. Someone also told me that Manchester United are world champions. Funny, I thought that was Italy.

Final thought. Who will finally be responsible for Evander Holyfield dying in the boxing ring. He was shot 8 years ago, yet someone keeps giving him chances to win a World Title when he should be getting medical treatment. When he gets very badly hurt will it just be too easy to blame The Real Deal for squandering his cash, or for the unscrupulous promoters who earn big bucks on the back of his stupidity. This weekend he fought a tree and lost on points. He believed he won. He’ll carry on because he wasn’t humiliated. I think it is just an absolute tragedy waiting to happen. You were a warrior in the ring. You will pay for taking it to the bank too often.

A final, final thought. Hatton is fighting Pacquaio? Oh dear.