Archive for December 19th, 2008

19
Dec
08

India 179/1 at End of Play

By Dmitri Old 2 Comments
Categories: Cricket
Tags: , ,

Lose Toss – Check

Keep Same Batting Line-Up – Check

Oh No, Steve’s Got The Hump – Check

Stuart Broad flatters to deceive – Check

Can’t take wickets on a flat deck – Check

Oh lookie, Ian Bell is playing – Check

Allow monstrously out of form player a 50 – Check

Let unheralded left handed opener score a ton – Check

Freddie Flintoff fails to turn game – Check

Keep woefully out of form spin bowler in team – Check

Woefully out of form spin bowler takes no wickets – Check

Turn over TV to see Aussies wriggle off the hook again – Check

Plus ca f*cking change

Dmitri’s Delusional Diminutive Declarations

  • I will now, categorically, without fear or favour say that Murray cannot win the French Open. See, that was easy wasn't it? 6 months ago
  • Can Andy Murray win the French Open? Yes. He is still in it. Will he win the French Open? No. Can't outlets work out the difference? 6 months ago
  • My thoughts are Roatan. It wasn't my favourite place, but let's hope the earthquake 40 miles offshore has left it as unscathed as possible. 7 months ago
  • Thursday afternoon, India on my mind, weekend looming fast. Hope the weather stays fair for Sunday when North London meets Kent Snobs. 7 months ago
  • So Flintoff is injured pre-Ashes again. Guarantees he'll go into the big games undercooked, no doubt. What a surprise. 8 months ago

 

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Dmitri Old Has Seen These Guys Hit Home Runs

Garry Sheffield (NYY) Corey Koskie (TOR) Fred Lewis - Grand Slam (SFG) Ray Durham (SFG) Pedro Feliz (SFG) Adam LaRoche (PIT) Yorvit Torrealba (COL) Nick Markakis (BAL) Pat Burrell (PHI) Prince Fielder (MIL)

Dmitri Old Has Seen These Guys Hit Test Centuries at The Oval

John Crawley (v Sri Lanka - 1998), Justin Langer v England - 2001), Mark Waugh (v England - 2001), Steve Waugh (v England - 2001), Michael Vaughan (v India - 2002), Herschelle Gibbs (v England - 2003), Marcus Trescothick (219 v South Africa - 2003), Graham Thorpe (v South Africa - 2003), Andrew Strauss (v Australia - 2005), Justin Langer (v England - 2005), Matthew Hayden (v England -2005), Mohammed Yousuf (v England - 2006), Anil Kumble (v England - 2007), Kevin Pietersen (v South Africa - 2008), Jonathan Trott (v Australia - 2009), Michael Hussey (v England - 2009)

Come The Revolution – Up Against The Wall

Russell Brand, Jonathan Ross, The Editorial Staff at The Daily Mail (Stephen Glover first), Richard Littlejohn, PJ and Duncan, Sinitta, Zac and Sheherazade Bentley Goldsmith (read her Wiki entry for silver spoonery), Jamie Redknapp, Dr Phil The Fat Fascist Edwards and his mate.., Crimson Snide Ferguson, Robert Peston, Participants at the Edinburgh Fringe, Dominic Lawson (to have a beer snake thrown at him by the Barmy Army)

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