I have to admit, the Peter Moores era is beginning to really grate on me. Every time this decent team, and England are a decent team, come up against someone any good we come up short in the most ridiculous of ways. After the witch hunt that got rid of Duncan Fletcher after the 2007 World Cup, we put the Lord’s Yes Man in charge. Since then we’ve lost at home to both India and South Africa, were flattered by a 2-0 win at home to New Zealand when we really should have lost the 2nd Test, and then on the road we were also lucky to escape Sri Lanka losing by just one test, and winning in New Zealand after as abject a test display as I’ve ever seen at Hamilton.
This team is inexorably sliding backwards. The little boost it got when Kevin Pietersen took charge has come to an end, and now we see England cough up a test we should have won. Why did we allow the Indians to score 386 to win a test on a pitch where we made run scoring attritional and dilatory? How can we pick five bowlers and have our captain lose total faith in three of them? How can 386 seem like a routine task on a wearing fifth day pitch taking spin?
Sure, many will point to the genius of Sachin Tendulkar, who played a masterful knock of 103 not out. Many will point to the innings of Virender Sehwag who gave India a chance by belting a rapid 83 and setting India up to chase without having to push it today. By pushing it they may have got into trouble, but they were able to win scoring a 2.5 per over if they so needed. Last night was the time we turned a draw at worst into a potential loss. England, in that situation, would have been 60 for 2 or 3 and struggling to draw.
Let’s start with the batting. Yes. Lets. Well played Andrew Strauss. You had a game plan and scored two tons. Without you this would have been a trouncing. I still get the raging hump at the fact that you have only passed 150 once in your career, and that was against a toytown attack in Napier, but I can’t gripe at someone who did what the opener should do and score centuries.
Alastair Cook. 50s, 60s, 70s do not win matches. Your lack of centuries in the past 12 months does not lie, you are vulnerable to silly-shot syndrome, you are vulnerable to nick off, and for some reason, you haven’t yet passed 124 in your burgeoning career. You have a number of lessons to learn. Learn them, please.
Ian Bell. I don’t know why I f*cking bother. Really I don’t. What photographs does he have of Peter Moores? It is the only logical reason I can still see for him remaining.
Kevin Pietersen. I’m watching. Our greatest batting asset, and in his first test abroad he gets two single figure scores in the same game for the first time. He’s also the captain who let India get the highest 4th innings winning score in the subcontinent and only took 4 wickets in so doing. Also, he got out to Yuvraj Singh for christsake. What the hell is all that about?
Paul Collingwood. Well done on a good century played at the start with decent purpose. I can understand why your teammates want you in the team. Haven’t you done well since they dropped you for one test and shook the cosy edifice of the “top five” up? But, please note England, that Collingwood’s tons do seem to rarely aid an England victory. His last backs-to-the wall effort ended in defeat at Edgbaston, his only double-ton came in a defeat, suggesting he only scores well on pitches better players can cash in on more. Maybe a coincidence.
Andrew Flintoff. KP wanted him at six. There’s where our tail starts. Prior, on all current form, should be batting above him. No test tons since 2005. He looks as competent as Frank Crawford at the start of his innings. His mythical powers, for that is what they are, seem to excite the crowd / commentators, but don’t seem to win us many games any more.
Matt Prior batted well. I don’t think many of us question that aspect of his game. He didn’t seem to let us down with the gloves, so he keeps his powder dry for now.
And now to the bowling.
Graeme Swann. Hello Monty, here’s your replacement. He bowled OK, but if he’s the best English spinner we are truly knackered. This test match his batting did not come out as we hoped – Australia had a better batsman than him as a spinner, Cameron White, and he fared equally badly – but he bowled OK, if not all that threatening.
Jimmy Anderson – Although he came on a bit during the summer, I can’t help feeling he should not be playing if everyone else is fit. Frankly, if he’s fit and bowling, I don’t know why someone who played a part in making England the team they were in 2005 isn’t in the reckoning. No, not Simon Jones who would be in my team without a shadow of a doubt but is just too rickety, but Matthew Hoggard. One bad game and he’s chucked away.
Steve Harmison – See my posts in a former life. Plus ca f*cking change.
Monty Panesar – My sides are splitting. Look, I like the guy, he’s a decent bowler, but the hype he generated when he first started is out of all proportion to the performances he puts up. I’m not expecting him to be Shane Warne for crying out loud, but nor should he remind me of Ashley Giles. As Agnew said, and I don’t agree with him very often, he can’t bat and he can’t field, so if he’s bowling like this, what use is he? I had Adil Rashid in my fantasy cricket team, and for most of the season he wasn’t getting county batsmen out, so I don’t fancy his chances, but he does score some runs. Panesar is a victim of the hype – he isn’t as bad now as the know-it-alls say he is, just as he wasn’t as good as he was being touted a few years back. People sniffed at Duncan Fletcher for picking Giles in Brisbane and Adelaide, and in hindsight he was wrong, but I know why he did it. How can you justify selecting him when on a wearing pitch he took no second innings wickets? That’s his job. Quite frankly, and he’s not alone I know, his appealing can be embarrassing.
Andrew Flintoff – He’s a Trojan, he’s superhuman, he’s a matchwinner, he’s our best bowler. Maybe he’s the latter, but there is a reason he has two five wicket hauls in tests, and his average is 32.13 with the ball (that’s one notch higher than his batting average, which if anything bashes you on the head, knocks you senseless and brings you round to him not being a test number 6, then your name is Peter Moores or Kevin Pietersen). He actually doesn’t win lots of matches with the ball. Go on, name one. He can turn the tide of the game, but rarely applies the coup de grace, even on bad wickets. Andrew Caddick, remember him, won matches. Sure, he’d go for plenty on plenty of occasions, but he won games with six or seven wicket hauls. Matthew Hoggard did too, Hell Harmison did it for a while. Freddie doesn’t, and will the media stop perpetuating this myth.
Enough. The journey endeth this rant.
