Archive for November, 2008

27
Nov
08

Now… That Indian Premier League Thingamy, Messrs KP, Flintoff et al…

A while back, either in this, or a past life, I remarked on members of the England cricket team openly advocating their inclusion in the 20/20 circus in India. While I don’t deny these players the right to earn more money for themselves, their failure to spot the bigger picture gnawed at me. Hence I advocated a number of new teams that should be set up to accommodate the new players. These should be based in Karachi, Rawalpindi and Guwahati. I’d add Ahmedabad to that list as it is dry, so Flintoff should be right at home.

Last night’s, and sadly ongoing events in Mumbai cast a whole new perspective on things as the spectre of terrorism raises its sadly familiar head once again. As soon as something went spectacularly pop in the streets of the Gateway to India, so England had their get out not to go to strife torn Guwahati in the far north east corner of the vast sub-continent, where on a previous visit the locals hadn’t taken to kindly to the game being called off and rioted, and where bombs go off with horrific consequences. Clearly Delhi was going to go by the wayside as a seventh pointless fixture after our so far lack-lustre displays wasn’t really worth it.

Now we hear the test series may be in doubt. I for one cast sorry eyes at the Australians after the events of 7 July 2005 for even mentioning about going home. They stayed for that most memorable of series. England are now in that position and at the moment the clear inference is that they are coming home. Whether they do, and if so, whether they return for the tests is unclear. After all, their security is their first priority. I totally understand that. Just as I understand why Drug Cheat, and other Aussies due to play in the Champions League 20/20 jamboree and Middlesex are also not travelling.

However, wind back a bit. The champion IPL team comes from Jaipur. The Rajasthan Royals team were not cowed by terrorists at all, especially when this happened. Sure there were murmurs from the overseas players about departing, but raking in those levels of cash seemed to avert cowardice. Graeme Smith said (source Wiki, so who knows) – “though they (foreign players) felt unsafe, they never threatened to leave the team in the middle of the tournament” – Graeme Smith earned $475,000 for his particular bravery. Hell, they even played in Jaipur four days after the bombings took place. Jacques Kallis and Cameron White were two “foreigners” who braved the journey from Bangalore to play there. Bangalore was also cited as an alternative venue for the Champions League to Mumbai. No terrorism in Bangalore. Ooops.

England players, of course, aren’t being paid that much to continue on their path, but I’d bet they be fortified if this was in May and KP et al are playing for the Chennai Dunhill Milds or whoever. Look, I know people can accuse me of talking the talk here, but take it from me, and you have to take it at face value, I was in the Consulate at Istanbul three weeks before the bastards blew it up and took away a very fine and nice man I had the privilege of meeting, Roger Short (not Little, as I put in my original version – my stupidity) , and many others. If my department had said whether I wanted to go out there the day after, I would have said yes. Would I go to Istanbul? Of course I would, in a heartbeat. It is a great city. I go to New York and that has had the biggest atrocity of all. I go on the London Underground, as I did on 21 July when those muppets tried to bomb it after the atrocities of July 7. It is the same thing as a bombing in London. You are not likely to be killed by terrorists, but it is a miniscule risk we all have to take – we have no choice. Be brave.

I want the England players to stand up and say “we want to play”. We’d be revered in India for doing so. The respect we would get would be enormous. I’d be totally proud of them. We should offer to confirm that we are prepared play the game in Mumbai as a mark of our deepest respect – make it the first test if you possibly can.

No. I await us welching out of the country, but when a bomb goes off in London, we expect the visitors to stay. Holed up 900 miles away near Cuttack, and the boys don’t want to be getting on a plane to a destination even further away, let alone Delhi. But if these people let six months pass and then fill their boots on Indian lucre, the respect they should crave will evaporate. This is not a five minute risk, this is a risk for the ages, and I’m not sure if you go home now (if ordered by Indian authorities, or logistics are just too tough, then of course, I can’t quibble) you can ever return and pick up the lucre without having some eyebrows raised?

Am I being too harsh?

25
Nov
08

The Return Of The Dmitri…

Did anyone miss me?

OK, a short synopsis of some of the themes that will prevail now I am back in the land of the nationalised banks and rip-off petrol.

Last Thursday, in Cozumel, Mexico, it topped 80 degrees. It is about 35 here today in the smoke. Jesus. This tan won’t last long.

Roatan is a turd of a place. The capital is Coxen Hole. Should be more like Arse Hole. If raw sewage in your best stretch of beach, animal cruelty and dead dogs on the side of the road are you thing, then, as the beloved would say “knock yourself out”.

I’m miffed the only passport stamp I got was for Key West. Where we’d been the week before.

The prospect of a Big Apple Superbowl is scary. And real.

I now have the future path of my life in the hands of people in a Consulate in that city, That’s more scary.

Cozumel is like Blackpool for cruise ships.

Can’t you handle a little bit of breeze, sailor boy?

Alamo are not named for any other reason that they are a cowboy outfit.

Whoever designed Philadelphia International Airport went on to design mazes afterwards.

Ah yes. The roughest flight I have been on… ever. 90 minutes of being thrown about before the captain took off the seat belt sign and announced “that was fun”. Newark to Miami, if anyone’s interested.

It is tough walking around the Big Apple with people who don’t really like it.

I don’t want to play your bingo. Do you get me?

No, they aren’t cross channel ferries, but they aren’t all they are cracked up to be. Want to spend a week with pensioners with an attitude….. go cruising.

Serious highlights… San Pedro is La Isla Bonita, it is a cross between exhilaration and trepidation swimming with stingrays, the snorkelling in Cozumel was amazing, and the cocktails in Key West (Hogsbreath is highly recommended – although I missed the homemade bikini contest!) laid me out. Driving the Florida Keys, swimming at Bahia Honda, the sheer size of Sawgrass Mills, and, of course, getting married. How could I nearly forget?

Much more to come. Can you cope?

16
Nov
08

The Strikers

A-ha…

Saturday night in November and I am in a city that has had a football (soccer) team who have employed…

Gerd Muller

Gordon Banks

Teofilo Cubillas

George Best

Brian Kidd… and windybricks alumini…

Keith Weller.

Hello from the Castle of the Praiseworthy Hills….

14
Nov
08

Suffering.

Hello all,

I will be back soon…

In the meantime, it really is horrid where I am.

new-york-and-key-west-025new-york-and-key-west-028

BAHIA HONDA!!!!

03
Nov
08

A Momentous Week

After last week’s ranting and raging at the nonsense in our press and other media, it is time to put all things on the back burner for one of the most momentous weeks of my life.

On Friday I will be getting married.

Blogging will be, as you can imagine, pretty low down on my list of things to do in the next few weeks as I get to grips with this change in my life. I wish my mum and dad were here to see it, and I wonder what they’d make of it all – but it probably would never have happened had they been about as I would still be the lazy good-for-nothing who leeched off them at home. It was cheaper that way! 1224 days after mum passed away,  and 933 since my dad died, I’ll be getting hitched. About bloody time.

A blog isn’t really the place to divulge much more other than I am grateful to all the nice wishes and cards I’ve received before the event, and the “good luck” messages I’ve had. Do I really need luck? I suppose I do.

If I am still going this time next week, consider me pleased!




Dmitri’s Delusional Diminutive Declarations

  • I will now, categorically, without fear or favour say that Murray cannot win the French Open. See, that was easy wasn't it? 6 months ago
  • Can Andy Murray win the French Open? Yes. He is still in it. Will he win the French Open? No. Can't outlets work out the difference? 6 months ago
  • My thoughts are Roatan. It wasn't my favourite place, but let's hope the earthquake 40 miles offshore has left it as unscathed as possible. 6 months ago
  • Thursday afternoon, India on my mind, weekend looming fast. Hope the weather stays fair for Sunday when North London meets Kent Snobs. 7 months ago
  • So Flintoff is injured pre-Ashes again. Guarantees he'll go into the big games undercooked, no doubt. What a surprise. 7 months ago

 

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Dmitri Old Has Seen These Guys Hit Home Runs

Garry Sheffield (NYY) Corey Koskie (TOR) Fred Lewis - Grand Slam (SFG) Ray Durham (SFG) Pedro Feliz (SFG) Adam LaRoche (PIT) Yorvit Torrealba (COL) Nick Markakis (BAL) Pat Burrell (PHI) Prince Fielder (MIL)

Dmitri Old Has Seen These Guys Hit Test Centuries at The Oval

John Crawley (v Sri Lanka - 1998), Justin Langer v England - 2001), Mark Waugh (v England - 2001), Steve Waugh (v England - 2001), Michael Vaughan (v India - 2002), Herschelle Gibbs (v England - 2003), Marcus Trescothick (219 v South Africa - 2003), Graham Thorpe (v South Africa - 2003), Andrew Strauss (v Australia - 2005), Justin Langer (v England - 2005), Matthew Hayden (v England -2005), Mohammed Yousuf (v England - 2006), Anil Kumble (v England - 2007), Kevin Pietersen (v South Africa - 2008), Jonathan Trott (v Australia - 2009), Michael Hussey (v England - 2009)

Come The Revolution – Up Against The Wall

Russell Brand, Jonathan Ross, The Editorial Staff at The Daily Mail (Stephen Glover first), Richard Littlejohn, PJ and Duncan, Sinitta, Zac and Sheherazade Bentley Goldsmith (read her Wiki entry for silver spoonery), Jamie Redknapp, Dr Phil The Fat Fascist Edwards and his mate.., Crimson Snide Ferguson, Robert Peston, Participants at the Edinburgh Fringe, Dominic Lawson (to have a beer snake thrown at him by the Barmy Army)

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